I've Made A Horrible Mistake
by A.M. Rosso
Summary: So this is what happens when a friend and I get bored and start to write stories. Now before you read I'll let you know a few things. First, the kind of OCed the Doctor and his other incarnations, the Master (just two of them), and everyone's favorite Captain, second, this is a crack!fic, third we may have made the Doctors a little violent. I own nothing except plot. Reviews r love


"**I've Made a Horrible Mistake!"**

**A.M. and S.R. Rosso**

**Narrator: The Doctors were having their annual meet and greet. 5 and 8 showed up first, followed by 7 and 10, then 1, 4, 12, 13, and 6 showed up after, 2, 3, and 9 then appeared from their TARDISes, but 11, who usually showed up before 7 and 10, was the last one to show. When 11 showed he looked horrible. And his other regenerations wanted answers.**

**12: What happened to you?!**

**11: *Hugging himself and in a serious voice* I was raped.**

**All the other Doctors except 11: *gasp***

**6: Where?**

**11: *completely mortified* DOES IT MATTER?!**

**7: *Whacks back of 6s head* WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT?**

**6: What? It's a legitimate question!**

**2: He does have a point...**

**11: WHAT?!**

**10: *starting to worry about 11***

**9: *Being angry for no apparent reason***

**4: Well... Who did it, then?**

**6: My question goes unanswered. -.-**

**11: *hangs his head in shame* Jack Harkness**

**9: I have a feeling your ashamed. *narrows eyes***

**11: Will you stop looking at me like that!**

**1: Are you proposing it was actually on purpose?**

**11: What do you mean on purpose?!**

**5: I think he means to ask if you originally gave consent.**

**6: *pipes in from behind everyone* we can assume you were on bottom, then?**

**11: *high pitched voice used in the episode with Craig* What? No! And you lot would like to think that wouldn't you!**

**6: Yes.**

**10: Aaaand there's that voice.**

**11: *high pitched a bit still* What voice? *deepens it almost to normal* W-what voice?**

**10: The one you use when you're lying.**

**11: Oh, like you would know!**

**10: What's that supposed to mean?!**

**9: *to 11* You're definitely lying.**

**11: *to 9* Well, at least I don't go walking around looking like Dumbo!**

**9: That was unnecessary! Just answer our question!**

**10: *to 11* And you're one to talk Pinocchio!**

**11: I am not Pinocchio! And what question?!**

**3: Would you three stop bickering and focus on the matter at hand! Was it permitted or not?**

**11: *acting like a dramatic teenager* You wouldn't understand! He drugged me!**

**10: Drugged you?! **

**8: Wait... What's going on?**

**11: *Hugging himself and in a serious voice* I was raped**

**7: Go back into lala land 8, no one wants your opinion.**

**3: *to 7* Would you like a Jelly Baby?**

**10: Well... How are you gonna cope with this, then?**

**7: *takes one***

**4: That is MY line.**

**2: Oh, quit whining, you Mary Sue! There are more important this to deal with than stupid catchphrases!**

**4: Mary Sue?! I will strangle you with my scarf!**

**3: Oh, for Gods sake! FOCUS.**

**6: I still want to know where?**

**11: In the TARDIS! Where else?!**

**6: I meant which hole... I mean if it WAS rape it could be either.**

**8: *to 6* There is something wrong with you.**

**11: *Once again completely mortified and angry* What do you mean "was"?! Do you really think I would make this up?!**

**6: *crosses arms* 9 seems to think so.**

**11: Well, 9 has giant ears! So there!**

**Narrator: Back by 2 and 4…**

**2: All I'm saying is that there is more to be upset about than a stupid catchphrase, and if anything, 3 and I have been saying that before you have.**

**4: *Chasing 2 with scarf at the ready***

**3: *to 2 and 4* Will you two knock it off?!**

**1: *Impatiently waiting for this meeting to actually go somewhere*.**

**Narrator: Back to 6, 9, 10, and 11…**

**6: *to 11* I would like to know everything... So, I can console you properly.**

**11: Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you, you wanker!**

**6: Well, maybe I need more information before I can start to care!**

**9: Or maybe you're just perverted!**

**6: It's a possibility.**

**10: It might help…**

**11: What?!**

**5: *decides to join* It WAS consensual, wasn't it. *backs right back out***

**11: He drugged me! How does that make it consensual?!**

**6 and 10: What did he drug you with?**

**1: *looks around and says to himself* And I'm supposed to be the youngest...**

**11: *crosses arms across his chest* Roofies**

**6: *snickers* Really? How did you fall for that?**

**11: Oh shut up! You would have been drugged to!**

**6: You don't know that! **

**10: I have neutral emotions for you. *hugs 11***

**11: *Confused on why 10 is hugging him* Okay. *to 6* And neither do you!**

**10: I'm just trying to make you feel better, I promise. **

**6: *glares at 11, refusing to be defeated* Is that a challenge? He probably wouldn't want me anyway. *trying to maneuver out of his mistake***

**11: *Creeped out by 10's words then looks at 6* He'll hit on anyone, so...**

**6: *curious* Even him...? *points to 1* **

**1: Leave me out of this, you walking rainbow!**

**11: *Grins a bit* Even him, if he was desperate enough.**

**6: *mumbles to 11* You think he ever would be?**

**1: What did I JUST say? *walks away to 7, 5, and 8***

**11: You never know. *to 10* Can you let me go now?**

**10: Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. *let's go of 11***

**Narrator: Jack appears for no apparent reason because hey; wibbley-wobbley timey-wimey.**

**4: *Stops trying to strangle 2* Is this... Jack, was it? **

**3: Very, probably.**

**9, 10, and 11: *11 has some stank to it* Jack.**

**6: Heyyy. *awkward smile***

**Jack: Jack Harkness, how are you? *Gives 6 a charming smile***

**10: No**

**Jack: Why not? It's not like it's you. *smiles***

**10: You cheated**

**Jack: Cheated? How so? *whispers* You mean in the bet right?**

**10: *whispers back* Yes the bet, what else would I be talking about?!**

**11: What bet?**

**Jack: You should ask 10 it was his idea.**

**10: Oh, don't you try to weasel out of this! You cheated! And it was you're idea too!**

**Jack: Technically he gave consent.**

**10: You drugged him with Roofies that hardly counts as consent!**

**6: This is great. **

**Jack: You say what you want but if we can't come to an agreement Rose gets what we wagered.**

**11: Will someone tell what bet you two are talking about?!**

**6: Honestly, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out! He *nods at 10* thought Jack couldn't get with you. Jack disagreed. A bet was then made.**

**10 and Jack: *nods***

**11: YOU DID WHAT?!**

**10: Yeah, that's kinda why I'm trying to make you feel better.**

**11: Dude... Dude! Did you seriously listen to that guy?! He just shows up! He just freaking shows up! *Long Pause* When did we ever say it was okay to listen to him? Bloody when?!**

**10: Did you just... Never mind. I don't think I can apologize enough for this. **

**Jack: Nor I. *inches closer to 6***

**11: *to 10* How could you do this to me?!**

**10: *hangs head in shame* I really have nothing to say right now.**

**9: Wait, a second. You made a bet with Jack that he couldn't get 11 to sleep with him correct?**

**10: *nods***

**9: Did it matter how he got 11 to sleep with him; whether it be drugging, getting him drunk, etc.?**

**10: Well, come to think about it we never did go over rules... I guess.**

**11: So you pretty much gave him consent to rape me!**

**10: WHAT, NO! Why...?!**

**Jack: *Backs away, not really part of this anymore***

**9: It sure seems that way...**

**10: Well, I- I didn't expect this!**

**11: We're always supposed to expect the unexpected! That way it's expected!**

**10: *Silent***

**6: *to 10* You should probably just give up.**

**Jack: You said that I cheated, Doc. How?**

**10: With the drugs! That's how!**

**9: You said no rules were really established. And from the way you're making the bet sound; all Jack had to do was get 11 to sleep with him.**

**10: Agh, why are you siding with him?**

**11: Do you think we like siding with him?**

**Jack: I'm right here, you know.**

**10: Well, this wasn't planned!**

**9: It's Jack! You should know by now!**

**6: Wait a second, what made you guys think this was a good idea?**

**Jack: *to 6* Neither of us thought this was a good idea**

**6: I can see why. *nods to 11* Look at this one's reaction.**

**11: *face has a mix of anger and betrayal***

**10: *Under his breath* I bet you liked it, though...**

**11: *to 10 in anger* I most certainly did not!**

**10: Uh... You weren't supposed to hear that! **

**11: Well, I did! *eyes water* I thought I could trust you!**

**6: *to 10* Now, look what you've done.**

**1, 2, 3, and 4: *Break away from this conflict***

**Jack: *feeling guilty***

**10: Well... Not my fault he has ears as good as his. *points to 9***

**9: Hey!**

**6: You do have rather large ears...**

**10: And they would no doubt be good at hearing.**

**11: *sobbing* It doesn't matter! I'm running away and I'm never coming back!**

**10: Aren't we always running anyway?!**

**9: Yes.**

**11: *throws himself onto the ground* I hate you! I hate all of you!**

**8: Are we playing Monopoly?**

**Jack: *walks up behind 6***

**6: *to 8* Go to bed, you're drunk. *quieter* Or at least go bug him. *talking about 7***

**8: How ****dare**** you!**

**6: How dare me what?! *not noticing Jack***

**1: *thinking* So this is how I turn out in the future... great**

**8: How dare you of accusing me to be drunk, you rainbow-wearing wanker!**

**6: How come everyone brings up the coat?! At least I'm not wearing any of those ridiculous neck accessories! **

**2 and 11: Bowties are cool!**

**Jack: *seductively or not take your pick* I like the coat, it brings out your eyes**

**6: *Turns around* Why, thank you. Are you going to try something or are you just going to stand there?**

**Jack: * Smiles* Only if you want to.**

**11: No, no, no. Stop.**

**Jack: What?**

**11: You are NOT doing this again!**

**10: Well, this one would probably be consent.**

**9: You didn't bet he could sleep with 6! You bet he couldn't sleep with 11!**

**11: Really, anything to do with Jack right now is bad. *wraps arm around chest***

**6: Well, don't we forget everything that happens here anyway? *Smiling***

**10: *to 6* It doesn't matter! It's Jack!**

**6: I've never had a chance like this though. *Grins* And there's no denying that he is an attractive human. **

**9: *Gives "Fair Enough" nod***

**11: No one is screwing anyone! *looks directly at 6* No matter how attractive they are!**

**6: You can't make me do anything!**

**11: Shut up! What do you know?! The Doctor, you're more like a fiend!**

**6: Well, I'm called "the unlikable doctor" for a reason. *hangs head* Dammit.**

**11: Gee, I wonder why!**

**10: No more sugar for you, 11**

**6: And not the kind you find in Jammie Dodgers!**

**11: Oh, stuff it, you glorified clown!**

**Jack: *waiting for the argument to end***

**9: *shakes his head***

**6: WHAT?! 9 hold my coat!**

**9: What? *coat flies on his face**

**Jack: This is going to be interesting.**

**11: Alright, you know what 6?! Here's the Airport Security, and the *high pitched voice* beeper *normal voice* just went off! Better take out you're wallet, you're sonic screwdriver and your keys. Oh we've got a security breech Doctor! A security breech! *pulls a pencil out of his pocket and makes beeping noises and walks up to a portrait in the room* Oh, look at that a jugular vein! *Starts stabbing it* Sisither! Huh? How 'bout that? You need to knock it off or your going to be a pirate! *starts stabbing the portrait in the eye* Okay? *Stabs it in the neck* How bout that? I'm gonna snatch your little throat from outside of your tongue! *to 10* I know it didn't make sense!**

**6: *kind of confused* What just...? I don't know how to respond to that. *defensive position***

**The Other Doctors: *Sitting down watching intently***

**Jack: *follows suit***

**6: *to 11* We're really going to do this?**

**11: Most likely.**

**Jack: *to a nearby Doctor* Should I stop this?**

**11: *in front of Jack with his back turned* You know what... *points at Jack* I SEE YOU HARKNESS! I see you! *points to the back of his head* Eyes! Back of the head! 20- 20, and I *turns to face Jack* see ya!**

**Jack: *silent for a moment* Is that a yes then?**

**11: I will stab you in the neck with a pencil!**

**6: Fine then, I'll start. *tackles 11* **

**A few Doctors: Did not expect that...**

**11: *attempts to push 6 off him***

**6: Familiar feeling? *pins 11***

**11: *grossed out and starts panicking and spazzing out***

**6: *gets closer to 11s face* Scared yet? **

**4: *covers 2s eyes with scarf***

**11: *feeling like he did when this happened with Jack and begins to hyperventilate***

**6: *now touching noses with 11***

**11: *squeezes his eyes shut* God, please, no!**

**6: I wonder... *gives 11 a quick peck***

**11: *Turns his head away from 6* NO!**

**6: *laughs and says teasingly* Don't like it? I must say, I'm a bit shocked.**

**1: *puts hands in air* I'm done! *walks away***

**11: *mind is somewhere else* No, please, don't do this.**

**10: *puts on 3-D glasses***

**9: Why?**

**10: Why not?**

**6: *evil smile* Maybe if you beg some more.**

**11: *starts to tremble under 6***

**6: Bringing up bad memories? *Another kiss, longer this time***

**11: *tears start to fall down his face***

**6: *evil laugh***

**7: Perhaps you should interfere, Jack.**

**Jack: Maybe... Probably.**

**10: *worried about 11* I think you should**

**6: *noticing side conversations* I'd say this is a victory on my part. *Let's go of 11s arms and kneels on his hips* **

**11: *tries to slide away from 6***

**6: *smirks* Wanna keep trying? I have all day.**

**11: *in full panic mode***

**6: *crosses arms* Just be happy I haven't flipped you over. *Quieter* Probably want to be somewhere a little more private for that.**

**11: *still trying to get away from 6 while panicking at the same time***

**6: *feels for 11s hearts beat* Well, someone's excited. And that doesn't necessarily mean in a good way. *thinks about what to do next with grin on his face***

**11: *feels someone touching him and tenses up***

**6: *to self* Let's see how bad I can get this... *grinds hips together***

**11: No! No! No!**

**6: Oh, but yes!**

**11: *just starts to full on sob***

**6: *stops* Alright, I'd say that's a thorough victory. *gets up and grabs coat***

**11: *makes no move to get up and just curls up in a ball still sobbing***

**10: *walks over to 11 and shakes him a bit* You okay?**

**5: *walks over as well* Yes, time to snap out of that nightmare.**

**11: *doesn't seem to hear 10 or 5* No, please, don't do this!**

**10: *to 5* Should we just leave him?**

**3: I don't think that would be a good idea**

**5: Yes, prod him a couple more times. We need to snap him out of it.**

**4: *forces one of 11s eyes open***

**11: *cowers away from 10, 5, and 4***

**1: *walks over and bops 11 in the head with cane* Snap out of it, man! *silent for a bit* If that won't wake him I don't know what will...**

**11: *covers his head, but makes no move to show he was here***

**10: I think we might be getting somewhere.**

**1: Or not.**

**5: How can we wake him up?**

**10, 1, and 5: *look down at 11***

**2: I know exactly what to do! I'll go get some ice water! *runs off***

**12: *walks up to 11, sits next to him, puts 11's head in his lap, and starts petting 11s head* A few months ago, when I was still him *indicating 11* I was walking to the TARDIS when someone grabbed me. He hit me a couple of times and then undid my pants and everything else... *pauses for a minute* he ended up slamming me against a brick wall and raping me. I begged him to stop, but he was relentless. After a while he spun me around and threw me to the ground and it continued from there. A lot of the things 6 did to him must have triggered a flashback.**

**10, 1, and 5: *staring in shock***

**2: I'm back! *splashes ice water on 11 and 12* Sorry 12...**

**12: Quite alright, I needed a shower anyway**

**11: *jumps from the cold and ends up jumping into 12's lap***

**3 and 4: *walk over to join the conversation* **

**3: *looks at 12 and 11* Did we miss something?**

**11: *freaking out and moving away from 12* What happened? No. Don't touch me!**

**2: Good to see you awake again 11!**

**10 and 1: *back off a bit***

**5: Yes, you really had us worried**

**12: *gets up* Now you can stop pressing.**

**5: That's fair enough.**

**11: *not understanding what just happened* No one's pressing anyone on anything!**

**2: ...Good. That's what we were trying to indicate.**

**11: *looks confused***

**12: *to 11* Maybe you should go take a walk. **

**11: *Goes for a walk***

**Narrator: Over by 11…**

**11:* remembering what happened to him a few months ago***

**6: *happens to be in 11s immediate vicinity***

**11: *Feels someone watching him***

**6: Hello, there. *walks over to 11***

**11: *turns around* What do you want?**

**6: *pins 11 against wall* Take a guess.**

**11: *Tenses up* No, not again!**

**6: *holds 11s arms above his head* Well, maybe if you say please.**

**11: *fights against 6's restraints***

**6: Still got fight in you, eh? *leans closer and says with malice* I'll be sure to rip that away.**

**11:*trying to pull his wrists out of 6's hands and makes a few grunting noises***

**6: *sighs* It's like you're not even trying.**

**11:*tries to kick 6 in the shins***

**6: *Able to dodge 11's kick* Oh, that was a miss. Care to try again?**

**11: *look of desperation***

**6: *holds 11s wrists harder* You're quieter this time.**

**11: *whimpers and shakes his head***

**6: *eye twitch* Something feels wrong.**

**11: *tries to pull his arms down***

**6: You're still trying? *puts knee between 11s legs***

**11:*All movement made by him stills* What are you doing?**

**6:*starts to bite 11's neck***

**11:*squeezes his eyes shut still making futile attempts to escape***

**6: *bites near 11s jugular* Like I said. Strange. *raises eyebrow* Are you planning something?**

**11: *whimper and continues to squirm***

**6: *nose to nose with 11* What are you planning?**

**11:*afraid* N-Nothing!***

**6: Pardon me while I don't believe you. *nips 11s nose***

**11: *turns head away from 6***

**6: You should calm down a bit. At least your back is against the wall.**

**11: *bites 6's right cheek really hard***

**6: *shouts out in pain then smiles* ...Harder.**

**11:*bites into 6's cheek again until it bleeds***

**6: *licks blood* You've done this before?**

**11: *thinking to himself* Why isn't he letting me go? *frantically tries to escape from 6's grasp***

**4: *sneaks up behind 6* Supriiiise mutha fucka. *wraps scarf around 6s neck and drags him away* **

**6: *chokes out* WHAT IS YOUR DEAL WITH THIS SCARF?!**

**11: *too paralyzed in fear to move***

**10: What on earth is going on?**

**4: Oh, nothing. Just strangling 6.**

**2: Shall I get the ice water?**

**10: I really don't think that's going to work**

**2: Only if he's not doing that thing again... Are you with us 11?**

**11: *doesn't seem to hear 2 and is shaking***

**2: See? Can I get the ice water now? **

**3: Let's give the boy some time to return to reality before we throw water at him again**

**2: Fine.**

**10: *tries to shake 11***

**11: *throws a punch at 10***

**10: *dodges the punch* Oh, so NOW you decide to get violent!**

**11: *throws another punch***

**10: *hit in stomach, doubles over* Why?! Why now?!**

**2: Maybe 3 was right. For once.**

**3: For once?!**

**2: Yes, for once! Don't contradict me, Dandy man!**

**10: *still doubled over* Not right now! *straightens out and backs away from 11***

**11:*takes a defensive stance and even though his eyes are glazed over he has a crazy look in his eyes***

**5: *walks over* This shouldn't be to hard. *to 11* So, 11... Do you enjoy cricket?**

**11:*confused* What?**

**5: Yes or no? Simple question.**

**3: *to 10* He's either being really smart or exceptionally stupid right now...**

**9: *to 10 and 3* Do you think 11 needs to be restrained?**

**11: *to 5* I don't play**

**2: *to 9* He was a bit violent earlier... I'll go get 7 and 8.**

**5: You should try it sometime. How about science then? Still interested in that? Or are you caught up in that constant adrenaline rush?**

**11: Sometimes**

**5: Good to know. A couple more questions. *thinks for a bit* Which is correct? The egg yolk is white or the egg yolk are white?**

**11: Grammatically speaking it'd be the egg yolk is white, unless you're talking about egg yolks, plural. Also** **egg yolk is yellow, not white. That's the outer part of the egg**

**5: Good catch. Next question. There are 20 pigeons in a tree, a man shoots one. How many are left?**

**11: What kind of question is that? There are none left. You shoot at one pigeon the rest will fly away.**

**9 and 7: *sneaking up on 11***

**5: *smiles* Excellent. One more, just one. What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the evening, and three at night?**

**11: The answer is man. As a baby, he crawls on all fours. As an adult, he walks on two legs. As an old man, he uses a cane. The riddle is referring to the morning, afternoon, and evening of life, metaphorically**

**5: Perfect.**

**7 and 9: *quick grab and restrain 11s arms***

**11: No, let me go! *tries to get out of 7 and 9's grasp***

**9: Stop kicking!**

**7: Yes, you're not going to get out anytime soon.**

**11: Let me go! *ignores what 7 and 9 just told him***

**4: Hello, I'm back. What's going on?**

**7: Just, stop kicking!**

**11: *still struggling* Let me go!**

**4: We could try knocking him out.**

**5: How is that a good idea?**

**11: Oh, no you don't! Let me go!**

**4: Maybe when he wakes up he would be calm! I don't know!**

**7: It'd be better than holding him until then!**

**11: No! Let me go! *struggles even harder***

**7: That is not going to happen!**

**8: *helps restrain 11***

**11: *tries to kick 8* Don't you touch me!**

**8: This is for your own good!**

**11: Says who?! Let me go now!**

**7: Says us! **

**8: I'm kind of just following along.**

**9: Will you stop trying to kick everyone?!**

**11: No! Let me go!**

**5: I don't blame him for trying to kick you, he obviously doesn't want this. **

**7: Do you have any better ideas?**

**4: ...Maybe it's time we leave.**

**3: Not while 11's like this, do you realize what problems could arise if that happens?**

**4: Don't we forget everything when we leave anyway?**

**2: What problems could arise?**

**3: Leaving him with this state of mind could make him more easily provokable when he returns to his own timeline.**

**2: Huh... Well, okay then.**

**4: However that makes sense.**

**10: What if we just hold him down, let him kick and scream all he wants until he's calmed down?**

**11:*to 10* I am calm!**

**10: Yeah, I don't think you are.**

**7: 10, any chance you can come over here and help us?**

**8: *looses his grip***

**10: *walks over to help the others hold down 11* 8 tighten your grip**

**11:*slips out of 8's grasp and tries to kick 10's face* Don't touch me!**

**6: *back up and to 4* ...What's going on?**

**10: Since when could you kick that high?!**

**7: You'd be surprised what beings can do when they're angry.**

**9: Okay, that's it. *pulls 11 and the other Doctors to the ground to better restrain 11***

**7: Watch it! **

**8: *trapped under 11***

**9:*to 7* Sorry**

**11: *still trying to get out of the other Doctors' grasp***

**8: Don't mind me just stuck under 11...**

**4: I fear that if we give help we'd suffocate 11. Or 8**

**9: Someone get 8 out from under 11 now**

**3: *tries to pull 8 away* When did you get so heavy?**

**8: Go on without me! **

**9: *to 8* Quit being so dramatic and help us hold down 11!**

**11: No! Don't touch me! *struggles***

**8: I can't help you if I'm pinned under him! **

**9: Oh for God sakes! *slips his hand under 11 and holds him up to help 3 get 8 out from under 11***

**11: *to 9* Get your hands off me!**

**9: No. Plain and simple, no.**

**3: Much appreciated**

**10: Will you stop trying to kick me?!**

**11: *Still trying to kick 10***

**8: *tries to hold 11s legs***

**3: Do you ever run out of energy?**

**11: *to 8* You keep your hands off me!**

**8: I will lay on your legs if that's what it boils down to!**

**2: ...Maybe we should let him vent... To 6...**

**10: I don't think that'd work, 11 bit him and 6 seemed to like it. If we don't want him to become like he was before I suggest we let him continue to kick and scream until he's wore himself out**

**11: How many times must I tell you I AM CALM?!**

**8: *lays on 11s legs***

**3: *holding 11s shoulders* You'd think with age he'd get a bit more tired.**

**4: Time Lord biology.**

**9: *sarcasm* Gotta love it**

**8: I can lay here all day.**

**11: *tries to get 8 off his legs***

**9: Will you stop it?!**

**11: Don't tell me!**

**2: Does anyone want to try to gag him?**

**4: I like the noise. Makes this all much more interesting.**

**5: *to 4* Shouldn't you be distracted by a squirrel or something?**

**4: Shouldn't you freshen up your vegetable?**

**11: *has resorted trying to bite the other Doctors***

**5: *frowny face at 4***

**8: Hm, maybe it's a good thing I'm on his legs. **

**3: *avoiding 11s bites***

**10: Will you stop trying to bite us?! We are trying to help you!**

**11: Like that bet you placed with Jack?!**

**3: Yes, did we tell you that was a horrible idea on your part?**

**10: Yes! I get it!**

**2: Hey, 8, you're losing control of one of his legs.**

**11: *attempts to kick 8***

**8: *hit in the ribcage* AH, my heart!**

**4: One of them.**

**8: Don't get smart with me!**

**10: Will you shut up and help us hold down 11?!**

**8: *rolls back onto 11s legs***

**11:*to 8* Keep your hands off me!**

**2: I'll go get some rope.**

**8: Not using my hands!**

**11:*to 8* When I get you all off me, you're going to be the first person I'm punching!**

**8: Of everyone here?!**

**11: Yes! And then I'm finding Jack and punching him, followed by 6, and the rest of you lot!  
4: Maybe you should play possum. **

**7: Don't give him ideas!**

**10:*to 4* What are you thinking? We're trying to calm him down, not give him ideas!**

**11: I AM CALM!**

**8: Obviously not!**

**4: Well, it'd give you all a break.**

**9:*to 11* You are anything but calm right now**

**5: Anything but calm, indeed. Maybe you should take 4s suggestion. Your starting to look tired, 9.**

**10: Then why don't you make yourself useful and help, 5?!**

**4: STEP ASIDE. *takes scarf off neck* This has more uses than just keeping someone warm.**

**11: *to 4* Oh, no you don't you stay away from me!**

**4: Hold! Still!**

**11: Get off me!**

**4: No! *wraps scarf around 11 a couple times and ties it***

**11: *trying to get out of the scarf prison***

**9: That should calm him down soon, right?**

**2: I have the- *looks at 11* Oh... Well, okay then.**

**5: For once you're scarf proved useful**

**4: For once?! What about that decorative vegetable of yours, eh?**

**11: I will get out of here! And when I do I'm hurting all of you!**

**4: *to 5* Maybe if you go hug him *points to 11* he'll calm down faster!**

**5: Did you forget I was the one who distracted him in order for 7 and 9 to restrain him?**

**11: No one is hugging me; I will stab you in the neck with a pencil!**

**4: I didn't. Now, go do more to help.**

**11:*to 5* I swear if you hug me I will dress you up like a seal and throw you in an orca tank!**

**5: I'd like to see you try!**

**4: See, he's instigating you. You should prove him wrong.**

**11: You know what? 4, 5, and 6, when I get out of here triple murder, right there! I swear I will kill you if you hug me!**

**2: For all of your sakes I hope he's not serious.**

**4: Do it, celery man.**

**10: *to 2* He says a lot of things when he's angry**

**9: Does he now?**

**2: Quite obviously.**

**4: *to 5* It's not like he can attack you... Yet.**

**11: No one is hugging me! I will kill you! And not a creative killing either! I will just kill you in broad daylight and deal with the consequences!**

**9: Probably escape via TARDIS though.**

**11: *to 9* Shut up, what do you know?!**

**9: Only a little less then you. **

**4: *to 5* I'll give you a Jelly Baby if you hug him.**

**9: In fact you probably got most of your knowledge from me. After 8, that is.**

**11: *thrashing like an angry snake and to 5* I'll murder you!**

**4: It's the instigation. Makes you want to do it, doesn't it? Oh, and he probably won't murder you.**

**11: Don't you touch me!**

**5: *to 4* Then why don't you hug him?**

**4: Because I want to see this. **

**3: *to 4* Being very blunt right now, aren't you?**

**4: Honesty is the best policy**

**3: I suppose.**

**10: Hello, I'm the Doctor. Is everyone forgetting rule #1?**

**4: Come on, everyone needs to see cute things once in awhile. And we're constantly surrounded by death.**

**10: My question is still unanswered**

**2: What question? *wasn't listening* **

**4: *to 5* Do it. You know you want to.**

**5: *to 4* No I don't**

**11: No one is hugging me!**

**4: *addressing 5 and 11* It's not like I'm asking you to grope each other. **

**2 and 10: *look over* **

**2: That took a strange turn**

**11: *to 4* No one is hugging me!**

**4: Oh yes 5 is.**

**11: How many times must I say this?! NO ONE IS HUGGING ME!**

**4: It's not like you can fight it. Only 5 can. And we all know he's going to give in eventually.**

**5:* to 4*: You don't know that! For all we know you could give in**

**4: *thinks for a bit* Nope.**

**11: You're not going to hug me and that's final!**

**4: You have no power when you're tied up like that.**

**11: Shut up!**

**4: Not going to admit it, I don't blame you.**

**5: I'm still not going to hug him**

**4: Oh, yes you are**

**5: No I'm not**

**11: You bet your life you're not!**

**4: I'm not going to force it but this will not stop until I see something.**

**10: For cryin out loud, just hug him 5**

**5: Why don't you hug him 10?**

**4: Are you afraid to admit something, 5?**

**10: Ooookay. *turns to 5* And no.**

**5: I'm not afraid to admit anything, and I'm admitting I don't want to hug 11!**

**11: *still trying to get out of the scarf***

**4: You'll forget it when you leave.**

**5: And so will you**

**4: That's right... I should get pictures.**

**11: *trying to get out of the scarf using his teeth***

**8: *to 4* I think he's staining your scarf **

**4: Saliva comes out.**

**10: What about the blood on his teeth from biting 6?**

**4: That's not gone yet?!**

**9: No, we didn't exactly give him time to clean his teeth**

**4: I thought it would have gone by now! *pulls scarf out 11s mouth***

**11: *tries to bite 4***

**4: I'm a bit out of your reach. *lowers scarf to where 11 can't get it.* HUG HIM 5.**

**11: No! *struggles against scarf and is showing signs of fatigue* You're not hugging me.**

**4: Not talking to you 11. You have no say in this matter.**

**11: I beg to differ! *movements slow down a bit***

**4: AHA! So you DO get tired! Great opportunity 5, go take it!**

**5: Why me?**

**4: Because you would be cute together. **

**2: *gives 4 a concerned look* Are you tired? Or feverish?**

**9:*looks between 11 and 5* I can see it**

**10: *gives 9 concerned look and feels his head* I don't think you're well. **

**4: *to 5* See, he agrees.**

**9: Don't touch me.**

**11:*to 9* Now you know how I feel!**

**4: Just do it. Celery man**

**5: If you keep calling me that I won't hug him**

**11: No one is hugging me!**

**4: I'll let you call me Scarfy if you hug him.**

**5: No**

**11: NO HUGGING ME!**

**4: Well, someone has to. Hugs calm things down.**

**11: I DON'T WANT A HUG!**

**4: *to 5 directly* And you are... Relatively good looking. Relatively**

**11: I ALREADY TOLD I DON'T WANT A HUG!**

**5: In a sense flattering, but still no**

**4: When are we gonna see it? You will lose this battle.**

**11: NO ONE IS NOR WILL HUG ME! STAY AWAY! *tries struggling against the scarf again***

**4: How many times must I say it? Resistance is futile. *to 5* Do it.**

**5: Fine! If it will shut you up and you'll leave me alone fine!**

**11: NO! NO HUGGING!**

**4: *does yes arm thing***

**11: NO!**

**5: *walks over to 11* Eh... Sorry in advance.**

**11: NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!**

**5: *straightens 11 up and awkwardly hugs him***

**11: *trying to get away from 5* No! Let me go!**

**4: No you don't!**

**11: I hate you! I hate all of you!**

**10: That hurts future me.**

**5: *still hugging 11* Why am I still hugging you?**

**4: I WAS RIGHT.**

**11: *to 10* I hate you most after 4, 5, and 6! *tries to get out of 5's hug a few more seconds until he starts crying***

**10: 4th place... Could be worse.**

**5: ... *loosens hug and then sees 11 is crying* A-are you going to be alright? **

**11: *shakes his head***

**5: *snuggles up to 11s shoulder* You'll be fine.**

**11: *still crying* No I won't**

**5: *nuzzles up to 11s neck* If you keep thinking that way it won't.**

**11: You don't know. No one knows *outright sobbing***

**5: You can tell me, I'll keep the secret. *draws X with finger over hearts* Cross my hearts.**

**11: *shakes his head* No**

**5: I can wait. Just calm down first. *rubs 11s arm***

**4: *squeaks in happiness* **

**2: *raises eyebrow at 4***

**4: *looks at 2*... You say nothing.**

**10: Interesting**

**2: Not you to!**

**9:*to 10* What's so interesting?**

**10: If you notice, 11 wasn't too happy with us in holding him still. He became angry at us, violent even and things didn't seem any better when 4 wrapped him up in his scarf, yet when 5 hugged him, he stayed violent for a while until he finally had an emotional breakdown. The only question is what caused it?**

**3: Maybe everything that's happened to him from when he first should up til now has finally caught up with him. **

**7: *to 10* Another good question would be why did he finally lose it when 5 hugged him?**

**9: Think 11'll be alright?**

**Every other Doctor in the room that isn't 5 and 11: *looks over at 5 and 11***

**11: *crying on 5 and leaning his head into the crook of 5's neck***

**5: *moves arm up to pet 11s head and sighs***

**3:*to 7* Maybe 5 was the final straw that broke the camel's back. If you've all noticed and don't act like you haven't; 11 has be getting touched by at least one of us almost the entire time he's been here. His breakdown might have something to do with physical contact.**

**10: That would explain a lot**

**2: *to 3* Yes, any idiot could have figured that out.**

**8: Yes, but why cry on 5? Why didn't he start crying when 4 went over by him?**

**10: 8, what the hell did 3 just say? And 4 didn't touch 11; he merely removed his scarf out of 11's mouth so he wouldn't stain it**

**3:*to 2* You're just mad you didn't think of it first**

**2: Don't tell me! *hits 3 in the back of the head with recorder***

**10:*to 2 and 3* You two aren't making this any better**

**2: You're not part of this, 10!**

**4: *staring at 5 and 11 with a smile on his face***

**11: *getting worked up and more upset***

**5: *to 4* Wipe that stupid smile off your face! *back to 11* Calm down... You'll forget all of this when we leave.**

**11:*still crying* It doesn't matter if I remember or not my subconscious will remember**

**5: Only if you really want it to. *still petting 11s head***

**11: *quietly, but still obviously crying* I don't try to remember, it's quite the opposite, I want to forget *Leans closer into 5's embrace***

**5: *moves 11s head to his chest* You'll forget, I promise. Deep breaths.**

**11: *tries to do what 5 told him***

**5: *squeezes 11 a little tighter***

**11: *starting to slow down his breathing***

**5: Good. *resumes petting 11s arm* It's a start. *hears squeak and looks at 4***

**4: ...That wasn't me. I swear.**

**10: *to 4* Sure it wasn't**

**4: Are you calling me a liar? *glaring at 10***

**11: *sniffles every now and then***

**10: *to 4* Yes I am**

**7: Who was it then? **

**5: *turns attention back to 11***

**11: *calming down a bit, eyelids are getting heavy***

**5: See, we're getting somewhere. *smiles at 11***

**4: *to 7* Maybe it was 3.**

**11: *trying and failing to keep his eyes open***

**3: *to 4* I did no such thing**

**5: *notices this and blushes***

**9:*looking at 5 and 11* 11's certainly quieted down. I wonder what 5 did?**

**10: Maybe it's best we don't know.**

**7: It could help for future reference though.**

**8: We could ask 5 later...**

**5: *to 8* Or not!**

**8: It was only a suggestion**

**5: *to himself* A bad one.**

**11: *breathes are evened out and his eyes are closed***

**5: *turns red***

**4: I don't think you're going to be moving any time 5.**

**10: *to 5* Seriously though, how did you get him to calm down?**

**5: I don't know... He's just… Calm now**

**9: You had to have done something**

**10: He makes a good point. When have we ever been know to "just calm down"? You had to have done something**

**5: Fine then. Hm... Probably a combination of consolation and heart beats. *pauses* Why do you need to know?**

**10: If this happens again, we'll know what to do and not have to go through everything that just happened**

**9: What do you mean consolation and heart beats?**

**5: *to 9* What do you mean "what do I mean"? What's not to get?**

**4: *to 10* We could just have 5 do what he's doing now.**

**10: *to 4* I really don't think 5 is going to want to do this every time this happens**

**9: *to 5* Explain it. Elaborate. Need I go on?**

**4: *to 10* He won't remember.**

**5: *to 9* Really..?**

**10: *to 4* If you keep taking pictures he will**

**9: *to 5* Yes really**

**4: *to 10* What pictures?**

**5: *still to 9* Starting with the heart beats... Ever noticed how when children hide they put their heads near their mother's torso?**

**10: *to 4* The pictures you've been taking since 11 fell asleep**

**9: *to 5* Sure**

**4: *to 10* I think you need to get your eyes checked.**

**5: *to 9* Yeah, that's what happened. *sees 9's blank stare*...Do you need me to explain it more?**

**9: *to 5* No! *long pause* Yes.**

**10: *to 4* Don't even pretend that you haven't been taking pictures. I know I have**

**4: *silent* **

**5: When a child feels frightened or upset it will hide by its mother. Well, typically it would. Either way, the heart beat that the child hears will often calm them down. *waits for a bit* That better?**

**9: *still completely confused* Okay, explain it to me like I'm a five year old human child**

**5: *face palms***

**4: *to 9* Okay, we're gonna do this really, REALLY slowly.**

**10: Oh, God**

**3: Here we go...**

**4: 11 was getting worked up, right? So his hearts were beating like crazy, right?**

**9: Okay**

**2: Oh, for Gods sake...**

**4: And 5s were probably under control.**

**9: Yeah**

**10: *to 2 and 3* Shouldn't this be the other way around?**

**4: So, since 5 had control over the situation he put 11s head by his chest.**

**9: Yeah**

**4: And upon listening to a heartbeat 11 calmed down.**

**9: What does consolation have to do with this?**

**3: Oh, for... He treated 11 like a child!**

**4: You're lucky he can't hear you.**

**2: That should've been done a lot sooner...**

**10: Are you always this slow?**

**5: Probably.**

**9: Oh shut it, Celery Man. I'm the Doctor, I can save the universe with a kettle and string, and look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable!**

**5: *glares at 9* You are so lucky I can't get up.**

**10: *to 4* You were right, they are cute together**

**4: Aha! *to 2 and 3* 10 agrees.**

**5: I can hear you.**

**10: *to 5* Don't try to deny it, 5.**

**5: NOPE *blushes***

**9:*to 5* Then why are you blushing?**

**5: *hides face***

**4: HA! I'm correct again!**

**10: We're never going to let 5 live this down are we, 4?**

**4: *grins* Never.**

**5: *still hiding face* Shut up!**

**11: *shifts a bit in his sleep, but other wise remain unconscious***

**8: *staring at a butterfly that magically flew into the room***

**3: *addressing the butterfly* How...?**

**5: *rests hand on 11s shoulder***

**4: I hope you all have good memories because this is a night to remember.**

**2: 4, are you ever going to get your scarf back?**

**10: *sing-song voice* I've got the pictures**

**4: Oh yeah! *goes to get scarf***

**3: *joined 8 in watching the butterfly***

**10: *to 4* Wouldn't it be a good idea to wait until 11's woken up?**

**4: Nonsense, he'll be fine by now.**

**5: Stay away.**

**10: *has a big stupid grin on his face***

**4: Oh? *smiles like 10***

**5: *realizes mistake* Don't. Say. A word.**

**8: *actually noticed what just happened with the others* What just happened?**

**7: *to 8* Well, 2 had ask 4 if he was ever going to get his scarf back, then 4 remembered that 11 was still coiled in the scarf, 10 had asked if 4 should wait until 11 woke up, and then 4 had said that he'd be fine, then 5 got defensive and told him to stay away, then 10 got this stupid smile on his face, followed by 4 and here we are**

**4: *to 7* Where did you come from? **

**5: *to 4* He's been there the whole time.**

**10: *to 5 still smiling* You've certainly gotten protective of 11 haven't you?**

**5: *now glaring at 10* Don't you even start.**

**10: I haven't started anything, you did**

**5: *gets quiet***

**2: Trying for advice here, 5. Maybe you should stop talking.**

**9: That might be a good idea**

**4: But whatever suits you best. Wouldn't want you to do what you don't want. *smiles***

**10: Oh, yes we can't have that now can we?**

**5: Would both of you please be quiet? Probably the most talkative out if all of us...**

**10: No**

**5: What do you mean no?! You and 4 have barely stopped talking since we got here!**

**10: True, but we weren't the only ones talking**

**5: Okay, maybe 2 and 3 talked a bit.**

**10: Don't forget 11 and 6**

**5: 6 is NOT part of this conversation!**

**9: Why not?**

**5: *looks down at 11 and back to 9* I wonder...**

**10: *sing-song* Someone's protective**

**5: Stop saying that!**

**4: *grinning***

**8: *quietly observing***

**11: *snuggles up closer to 5 unconsciously***

**10: I really don't think you should say anything until you're not holding him**

**5: ...Well, I'm not about to drop him.**

**10: Do I need to sing again?**

**5: Sing?**

**10: *sing-song* Someone's protective**

**4: Someone is indeed.**

**5: *look of death to 4 and 10***

**10: You do realize you don't look at all threatening while you're holding 11, right?**

**4: You look like an angry mother.**

**10: Yeah, he does**

**5: I will maim you. Shut. Up.**

**10: *smiling and laughing a bit* No you won't**

**11: *starts to tremble in his sleep***

**5: *notices and holds 11 tighter* **

**2: I'm going to walk away and come back when things get less weird. **

**3: *follows 2***

**10: *stupid smile return***

**4: Good bye 3 and 2! Enjoy your time where ever.**

**10: *taps 4 and points at 5 and 11***

**4: *grins at 5* Who doesn't care?**

**5: *trying to ignore them***

**10: He is trying so hard to ignore us. It's funny**

**4: I agree both-heartedly.**

**8: Should we get involved with what happening with the others, 7?**

**7: Hm? You can. I'd rather stay out of this. **

**5: *whispers* Thank you.**

**8: Why stay out of it?**

**7: 5 seems to be getting enough from those two as it is. But, I can't really control you, now can I?**

**8: I'm going to go find 2 and 3**

**6: Alright, I'm back... *looks at 5 and 11* What's going on? **

**5: *to 6* BACK OFF.**

**10: *to 6 quietly* It's a bit of a touchy subject right now, I think 5 is mad at you**

**6: *sarcastically* Huh, wonder why.**

**5: What did I just say?! Back. Off.**

**6: Calm your vegetable covered nipples. I'm not even that close.**

**10:*to 6* Just back away, you don't want to anger the mother bear even more**

**6: Mother bear?**

**5: *puts head closer to 11s trying to ignore them***

**10: Oh, yeah. That's right you missed it, but lucky for you I've been recording this**

**4: *happily* What?!**

**5: *shocked* WHAT?!**

**6: Oh this'll be good.**

**10: *shows the other Doctors the footage from when 4 tied 11 up to now***

**4: *grinning stupidly***

**6: And you won't be getting up anytime soon, 5. I'm afraid you have DOL.**

**10: "Doctor On Lap"? Oh that's brilliant**

**5: ...What...? You know what? I don't want to know.**

**10: Too late. Until 11 wakes up 11 is going to be in your lap. Hence Doctor On Lap**

**5: Oh... *sarcastically* clever.**

**6: Isn't it, though?**

**7: *silently watching***

**10: Oh yeah**

**5: *looks at everyone that is staring at him***

**11: *talking in his sleep* Yeah, and then I said lets go on the bus and go downtown. Yes me, you, and John *laughs a bit* Then a bald eagle took out bacon and flew up into the sky. We tried to catch him, but he was too fast.**

**5: ...W-what?**

**4: *equally confused***

**10: *walks up to 5 and 11 and crouches down to see 11 is still asleep* He's sleep talking**

**5: *trying hard not to pull 11 away from 10* Yep.**

**6: He could've said worse...**

**11: *still asleep* 6, I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception**

**6: Well, okay then.**

**5: *snickers***

**10: *to himself* I wonder... *to 11* How do you feel about blankets?**

**11: *to 10* Why do people feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking "I'm gonna ki..- ahh damn! He's under a blanket."**

**6: Surprisingly coherent when he sleeps.**

**4: *nods in agreement***

**5: *pulls 11 away from 10***

**10: *throws hands up in surrender* I was just seeing how coherent he was while sleeping**

**11: We can get out that way**

**6, 5, 4, and 10: *silent* **

**6: Uhm. Okay then.**

**9: *zoned out until now* Get out? Out of where?**

**11: I hit you with the magical health pillow**

**7: ...Speaking of get out. I think I'll be leaving soon. You all should probably soon as well. **

**4: *holding back laughs***

**11: It hurts. It hurts**

**Everyone in the room except 11: *freezes and looks at 6* **

**6: ...WHAT?! I'm not by 11!**

**5: *thinking to self* Don't move and they won't see you.**

**10: *to 11* What hurts?**

**11: *to 10* It just hurts**

**5: Stop. Just for Gods sake, stop.**

**10:*to 5* I'm just trying to better understand what he's talking about**

**11: The cat ate the jammie dodger**

**5: *looks at 11* **

**6: *silent for a bit* What a pity.**

**10: *looking at 11* How long do you think he'll be doing this?**

**11: It's okay to wear church pants to sleep you guys, don't worry**

**2: *walks over* Enjoying yourselves? *plays highest note on recorder as loud as possible to wake 11 up* Good day~! *leaves as well***

**11: *is partly awake, but not enough to know what's going on around him, so he starts to struggle against the scarf restraint and 5***

**4: *unties scarf and puts it back on***

**11: *trying to get away from 5* No, get away from me! No!**

**4: This is where I leave. *tips hat* Good day, gentlemen. *leaves***

**10: *to 5* Do you need any help with 11?**

**11: *outright panic mode again***

**5: I got this. *let's go of 11***

**6: *observing***

**10: Alright, I'd better be off then. **

**11: * backs up to the wall and ends up hitting his head and knocking himself out***

**5: Son of a...**

**6: *laughing***

**10:*to 5* Alright, let's see what damage he's done this time**

**5: *walks over to 11 and shakes him***

**11: *groans in pain and touches his head* OW!**

**5: *crouched over 11* You okay?**

**11: My head, what happened? *tries to touch his head again***

**6: *between laughs* You ran into a wall!**

**5: Shut up, 6!**

**11: *winces when 5 shouts***

**10: Alright, everyone, just calm down**

**6: *quiets laughing***

**5: *goes to help 11 up***

**11: *a bit shaky on his feet and grabs 5 for support***

**10: *walks over to see if 5 needs any help, but then notices 11's pupils are extremely dilated and to 5* Need some help?**

**11: No, no, please. *has a death grip on 5 and says in a panicked and scared tone* Please, I won't do it again I swear!**

**10: 11, it's okay, no one's going to hurt you. *looks at 6* Hopefully...**

**5: *helps hold 11 up* Calm down. *acknowledges 10s concern* I won't allow it. **

**6: Won't want any help from me then?**

**10: *to 6* Just stay there**

**11: *tensing up and his grip on 5 increases* No, I didn't mean to, please! I'm sorry!**

**10: *looks at 5 for help***

**5: *holds 11 up and pulls him close* You're fine. You didn't do anything. **

**11: *becoming hysterical and confused and trying to figure out what's going on***

**5: *curious* How hard did you hit your head? *feels for bump***

**10: Not as hard as 6 hit his.**

**6: You shut your mouth.**

**11: *yelps***

**5: *still holding 11 tight* Yep, there it is. *to 10* Got any first aid equipment in your TARDIS?**

**10: Yeah, I should have an ice pack or wet cloth in there; I think you should try to get him to stop moving around as much so he doesn't hurt himself anymore than he already has. *leaves to get first aid kit***

**5: *sits down and takes 11 with him, putting 11s head on his lap* Now don't sleep unless I give you permission.**

**6: *sits and watches***

**11: *curls up in a ball and nods his head***

**5: *rubs 11s arm and waits for 10 to come back***

**11: *cheeks turn a bit green and ends up puking on the floor***

**5: *to 10* You might want to grab some rags too! *back to 11* You okay?**

**10: *to 5* Why do I need to bring rags?! *goes and looks for rags* **

**11: *starts shaking and looks around for something to clean it up with, and when he couldn't took off his tweed jacket and tried to cover it up***

**5: Nope. *takes jacket from him***

**11:*flinched once the jacket was taken away and said in a small voice* Please. Don't make me eat it. Please, I'll do whatever you want, just don't make me eat it**

**5: *completely shocked* What are you talking about?!**

**6: *pipes up* I think he mean that *points at what 11 threw up***

**11: *breathing starts to pick up***

**5: *sighs* I know, 6. I meant why? *pulls 11 close, away from the vomit***

**11:*tenses up as if waiting to be hit***

**10: *walks back in the room* Hey, why did you ask me to bring... *smells the air and sees the vomit* Oh, is he alright?**

**5: *to 10* I don't think he is. *takes ice and puts it on 11s bump* **

**11:*tries to get away from the sudden coldness***

**10:*put a reassuring hand on 11* It's okay, 11, it'll help *looks at 5 and asks quietly* Why do you not think he's alright?**

**5: He's acting really strange. He was pleading me not to make him eat that vomit. *holds ice on wound***

**10: *holds confusion on his face* Why would he say that?**

**5: I don't know! That's why I said he wasn't alright. **

**6: *looks over the whole situation* Well, I guess I'll be leaving. You look like you have it covered.  
11: *mumbling to himself* Everyone's so mad, why?  
5: *to 11* No ones mad. Calm down, you'll hurt yourself more than you already did.**

**10: 6, are you still here?**

**6: *leaning in his TARDIS* Yes.**

**10: *sighs and looks at 5* I know you'll probably be against this, but we could use 6's help**

**11:*whimpers***

**5: How could he help?! *looks at 11 and sighs* Fine. But, I swear if any-**

**6: Cool it, alright. I got it.**

**10: Alright, good. **

**11:*breathing picks up again***

**10: *to 5* You might want to slow down his breathing a bit**

**5: *to 11* Listen to me, alright? Do what I do. *breaths normally yet audibly***

**11: *tries to mimic 5 and then starts to mimic 5's breathing pattern***

**5: Good. *petting 11s arm***

**6: *begins to clean up vomit and throws rag at 10* Help.**

**10: *takes rag that 6 threw at him and helps him clean up the vomit***

**5: *when 6 and 10 finish cleaning* You two can leave if you want. I think I got this.**

**10: You sure?**

**5: 99%**

**10: Alright, see you next time *leaves***

**6: *does the same***

**11: *for no reason at all he's searching for his sonic screwdriver* Where is it? Where is it? *tries to sit up***

**5: Nope, nope. *pulls him back down* What are you looking for?**

**11: *frantically* My sonic screwdriver! I can't find it!**

**5: Calm down. It's in your jacket. Why do you need it anyway?**

**11:*trying to remember why he needs his sonic screwdriver* I-I don't know. I don't know. *getting worked up* I just need it! I don't know!**

**5: *trying to hold 11 still* Tell you what. You stay still and lie down and I will get that sonic screwdriver for you.**

**11: *thinks about it for a minute and then in a small voice* Okay *lays down and doesn't move***

**5: Good. *grabs 11s jacket and gives him the sonic screwdriver***

**11: *quickly grabs his screwdriver and holds it close to his chest like a security blanket***

**5: *sees this and laughs a bit* Better?**

**11: *looks at 5 and nods his head, but winces when he feels a sharp pain from the movement***

**5: *thinking to self* How long is this going to drag out?**

**11: *talking to himself, but loud enough to where 5 could hear him* I've made a horrible mistake. I never should have trusted him.**

**5: *quiet while he contemplates what to say* Who? Trusted who?**

**11*doesn't hear 5 and is acting like he's holding a conversation with himself* You knew you couldn't trust him, yet you did, why? I don't know. *with malice towards himself* Yeah, like anyone is going to believe that. *fists his hair until his knuckles are white* Shut up!**

**5: *pretty confused at this point* Trust who?**

**11: *sounding like a scared child* Beelzebub Barnabas**

**5: *to self* That doesn't help...**

**11: *hugging himself and saying* A world so dark, a world so cold, a world where only some will go. But not return, when will they learn? Where do they go? God only knows. Stay Wide Awake**

**5: *pulls 11 closer and remains quiet***

**11: *hugs 5 like he's going to disappear* I've never been so alone in my life, please, I know you're not real, but please don't go. *desperately* Don't leave me alone with him, please!**

**5: What are you talking about? I'm not nonexistent. *slightly worried* What are you so afraid of?**

**11: Boneorg... Beelzebub Barnabas... Darkness, cold! *has a death grip on 5 again* Always playing tricks! I can't sleep, I can't eat! He'll hurt you if you fall asleep. *starting to talk faster in a panicked tone* He wants the TARDIS! He can't have it, no, I won't let him. *shakes his head***

**5: Get a hold of yourself! *tries to smack 11 awake***

**11:*freezes and starts muttering apologies while trying to make himself as small as possible***

**5: Hello? Anyone home yet? *pulls 11 into a sitting position***

**11:*whimpers* Please don't hurt me**

**5: *sighs* I won't hurt you. *to self* I won't try to at least... *back to 11* Just stop beating up on yourself.**

**11:*shaking a bit and nods his head***

**5: Good.**

**11: *lightens up his grasp on 5 and tries to calm down***

**5: Are you okay? Can you stand now?**

**11: *makes a move to get up, and high fives the floor with his face***

**5: *double face palm***

**4: Hello again, I forgot something... *looks at 11* Not having a good day is he?**

**11: *tries to get up, but slips and falls again***

**4: Is he still off from the hit that he took?**

**5: Probably. *goes to help 11***

**Jack: *walks in from wandering around* Hey, did everyone...*sees 5 helping 11 up* What did 6 do this time?**

**5: *doesn't notice Jack asked the question* 6 didn't do anything.**

**4: Yes, he just managed to trip over his own feet... Wait, *turns to Jack* when did you get here?**

**Jack: Well, after what happened between 11 and 6, I just started wandering around, and after walking around the building for a third time I decided to come back, I noticed most of the TARDISes were gone to. Did everyone leave or something? *walks over to help 5 with 11***

**4: Yes, everyone left. I came back though. *follows Jack***

**Jack: *lifts up 11's face to see he has a bloody nose* Oh boy *Pull out a rag from his pocket and presses it to 11's nose and leans his head forward***

**5: Oh, dear. *bit worried***

**4: I would help but I'm sure you two have it.**

**11: *leans a bit on Jack***

**4: *tries hard not to make a smart comment* **

**5: I see you over there, 4. What did you forget anyway?**

**Jack: *to 5* Do you mind telling me what on earth happened to him *indicating 11***

**10: Oh, I almost forgot... *sees 5 and Jack holding up 11 and Jack holding a cloth to 11's face* What are you doing?**

**4: *to 10* Everything. When did you get back? *to 5* I forgot my sonic screwdriver. Because I still have one. **

**5: *to Jack* Well... It's a really long story.**

**10: *to 4* A few minutes ago**

**Jack: *to 5* Seeing as how he's out of it for a while, I think we've got some time**

**5: *sighs* Alright, have a seat. This could take a bit. *begins to explain from start to finish***

**4: *to 10* So, what did you forget?**

**10: *quietly* Honestly I didn't forget anything, I just wanted to see if 11 and 5 were still here. When did Jack get back?**

**Jack: *to 5* So he told you about when he was captured and tortured by Beelzebub Barnabas?**

**4: He never left. Kind of forgot he existed. And, I don't think I give you enough credit.**

**5: *to Jack* You knew about this?**

**Jack: *to 5* I was the first one he told. I had placed the bet with 10 a few hours ago and someone had spike 11's drink with Roofies, rape drug. The guy who'd drugged him came walking over trying to get 11 away from me and he was freaking out and clinging to me for dear life. I told the guy to beat it, but he didn't take the hint, so long story short I kicked his ass. 11 was still a bit shaky so I brought him back to the TARDIS to sleep it off, he fell asleep on me once we made it to his room. He had started acting strange, begging me to not hurt him and not to make him eat his own vomit when he threw up. It got me worried so I ended up staying up talking with him and he just spilled. I've never seen him that destroyed before, it was like I was trying to calm a scared little boy. Nothing happened that night, he just thinks that something happened, I didn't know if he really wanted me knowing what had happened to him or not so I let him think he slept with me**

**5: You knew about this story. The whole time. And you said nothing?!**

**4: *to 10* This is gonna get good.**

**Jack: Hey, as far as he knows, I don't know! And 12 could have easily told you to, but he choose to lie about it to, I'm not saying that what I did was a good idea, but I didn't know how he was going to react if he knew that I knew what happened to him!**

**10: *to 4* Too bad we don't have any popcorn**

**5: You could have given me a heads up! It could've helped, knowing this had happened before!**

**4: *to 10* Yes, what a pity.**

**Jack: You never asked me! And I don't think you trying to slap him back into reality helped much either!**

**10: *to 4* How long do you think this will last?**

**11: *covers his ears trying to block out the shouting, he doesn't understand what they're saying but they sound angry and that's usually bad for him***

**5: At least I tried something different! *looks at 11* This can't be good.**

**4: *to 10* I have no idea.**

**10: *to 5 and Jack* Might be a good idea not to fight in front of 11 right now. Just sayin'**

**11: *eyes are squeezed shut and still covering his ears trying to block out everyone's voices***

**5: Tch. Fine. *to 4 and 10* Aren't you two supposed to be gone?**

**10: Oh, no, I don't have to be any where anytime soon**

**4: We do have time machines, after all.**

**Jack: *to 5* And they were like this the entire time 11 was sleeping on you?**

**5: ...Yes. Why?**

**Jack: Just wondering, because he's never going to let this go**

**5: *looks around to everyone* Who won't?**

**Jack: *thinks for a moment* 10**

**5: I'm riding on the hope he completely forgets about this.**

**Jack: You're not the only one.**

**5: Well, maybe it's time we finish up here. *to Jack* I'm sure 10 could get you a lift back home.**

**Jack: No I still got this *points to the time vortex manipulator***

**5: Ah, I see. Okay then.**

**4: Aww, we have to leave now?**

**Jack: *to 4* Yes**

**10: No**

**Jack: What do you mean no?**

**4: I'm in the same boat as 10. **

**5: I'm not.**

**11: *loses consciousness and falls onto 5***

**Jack: *worried* I don't think that's suppose to happen, but on the bright side, his nose stopped bleeding**

**5: What just happened?!**

**10: *jogs over and opens one of 11's eyes* 11? 11, can you hear me? *gets worried when 11 doesn't answer* This is not good for someone with a concussion**

**5: *dead silent***

**Jack: *looks at 10 with genuine concern* What can we do?**

**5: My memory of all possible things to do just failed me.**

**10:*feels 11's hands and by his neck to find out he was really cold, takes off his trench coat, and covers 11***

**11: *chest rises and falls slowly* **

**10: "checks 11's breathing properly***

**5: *begins checking 11s' vitals***

**Jack: *unsure what to do***

**4: *begins to help 10 do whatever***

**11: *still lying back against 5's chest***

**Jack:*thinking to himself* This is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life**

**5: Alright, I don't think anything to horrible is going to happen to him.**

**11:* leg twitches and kicks Jack's knee on accident***

**Jack: *holds back from yelling in pain***

**4: You might have thought a bit too loud.**

**Jack: *confused* What are you talking about?**

**4: Psychic abilities are heightened in situations like this. Or at least his would be. *motions to 11***

**10: *without looking at Jack* Yeah, he might be responding to whatever it was that you thought**

**5: That's a good sign. Shows some form of consciousness.**

**11:*in his sleep tries to turn away from 4 who is checking his pulse***

**4: *to 11* Don't be difficult, now.**

**10:*holds 11 still for a moment* It's okay, 11. We're just making sure you're okay**

**4: Thank you, 10. *states pulse because the writers have no clue what it would actually be***

**10: Alright, pulse is normal *Pulls out Stethoscope* Let's have a listen to his hearts**

**5: Where did you...? *making sure 11 is held still***

**10: *talking to himself but everyone could hear him* Hearts are a bit fast**

**Jack: *to 10* But that doesn't make any sense**

**10: *offers stethoscope to 5* Want to see if I'm wrong?**

**5: Of course. *takes stethoscope ***

**11:*shudders when the coolness of the stethoscope touches his skin***

**5: Well, they could be worse. Best keep an eye on them. *hand 4 stethoscope***

**Jack: I don't get it, how can he have a normal pulse rate but not his hearts?**

**5: Jack, that statement didn't make any sense.**

**Jack: How can 11 not have a normal hearts rate, yet his pulse is normal?**

**5: His heart rate is normal but beating irregularly.**

**10: *to Jack* We just have to make sure that it stays at this rate or normal**

**4: *unconsciously* Yes we will...Wait a second... How did this even come to happen in the first place?**

**10: *to 4* Remember when 2 walked in and played that high note on his recorder to wake up 11?**

**4: Yeah... And, tell me, how is that relevant?**

**10: Well, 11 must have only been semi-conscious because he had no idea where he was, he ended up hitting his head against the wall and got a concussion, he was out of it for a while, and then you and Jack must have shown up again and then I did**

**4: *sighs* Not that... How did he end up like this all of a sudden? He was fine and then he just passes out.**

**10: Autonomic nervous system malfunction would be my guess, remember when 5 and Jack were arguing right by 11 and how he had an adverse reaction to the shouting?**

**4: You come up with a reason for everything.**

**10: Oh, yeah**

**4: *rolls eyes and continues to focus on hearts beat***

**5: *to 10* Any chance you know what might wake him up?**

**11: *in his sleep he starts tossing and turning, trying to get out of 5's grasp* Ah, not again! No! No! Please! I'M SORRY! PLEASE, I'M SORRY!**

**5: *shushes 11* Calm down, now. *pets head***

**11: *doesn't seem to hear 5* No! Let me go! Please!**

**10: *comforting tone* 11, you're okay, you're safe. No one's going to hurt you**

**5: *to 10* Should I oblige?**

**10: *thinks for a minutes* Chances are he'll just hurt himself trying to get away from us if we let him go. I think it's best if we try to calm him down first. *feels 11's hearts* We'd better hurry**

**5: Very well. Any suggestions?**

**10: Try talking to him, steer his mind away from whatever he's dreaming about**

**5: *to 11* Tell me, 11... *thinks for something to ask* Uh... What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?**

**11: *stops moving* What do you mean? African or European Swallow?**

**5: *didn't see that coming* Uh... European?**

**11:*quiet for a moment* Airspeed can be predicted using a published formula. By inverting this midpoint Strouhal ratio of 0.3 (fA/U ≈ 0.3), Graham K. Taylor et al. show that as a rule of thumb, the speed of a flying animal is roughly 3 times frequency times amplitude (U ≈ 3fA).5. We now need only plug in the numbers: U ≈ 3fA. f ≈ 15 beats per second. A ≈ 0.22 meters per beat. U ≈ 3*15*0.22 ≈ 9.9 ... to estimate that the airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow is 10 meters per second.**

**5: He can do that while he's unconscious.**

**10: *to 5* Surprising isn't it?**

**5: *totally silent* **

**4: Timelord knowledge. It can only grow. **

**Jack:*still surprised at what just happened* Well that stopped him from moving**

**5: Should I ask some more?**

**10: It'll keep his mind busy and any distraction for him could be better than what he's thinking about**

**5: Absolutely. *to 11* If a peacock is a bird that does not lay eggs where do baby peacocks come from?**

**11: Of course a peacock doesn't lay eggs, it's a male. The only male animal that gives birth is a seahorse. Peahens are the ones who lay the eggs**

**5: What runs but never walks, has a mouth but never speaks, and has a bed but never sleeps?**

**11: *still unconscious for those who think he's awake* Now, you're just making these easy. It's a river**

**5: He seems more awake than he is... Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister?**

**11: How is a dead guy marrying someone? Unless he's a zombie. *shudders at the thought***

**5: Don't you dare. What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gets stronger the longer it stays in?**

**11: Tea bag. It's tea bag.**

**5: *to 10* Are we getting anywhere?** **I'm running out of questions.**

**10: *feels 11's hearts again* His hearts beats are almost normal**

**5: So keep going then?**

**10: Just a bit longer, 4 you have any clever questions?**

**4: Let me think... How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?**

**11: *thinks for a seconds* 10**

**4: Hehe... Negative. Once. The next time you'd subtract 10 from 90.**

**11: Oh, yeah**

**5: Oh, yeah is all you have to say? I guess.**

**11: Waiting for you, is my first clue. I keep things shut. Or open the up. My teeth aren't for eating. But can be helpful for a meeting. I push up those that tumble. And I turn but do not rumble. This riddle clues it has three. Can you guess what that first item may be?**

**5: You... Evil... Clever...**

**10: Someone's gotten cryptic in their sleep haven't they?**

**4: A key.**

**5: Someone's being simple.**

**Jack: Just be happy he hasn't decided to sleepwalk**

**10: What?**

**5: I suppose. **

**4: Don't give him any ideas.**

**10: That's the last thing we need**

**11: You are lost and alone in the woods. You stumble across an old cabin, and decide to stay there for the night. You want some heat and light, but the only things you find in the cabin are a candle, an oil lamp and a wood burning stove. You look in your pocket but you only have one match left. What do you light first? **

**10: He's coming up with rather coherent questions for a person who's unconscious**

**Jack: I thought that to, but he's as unconscious right now as we are awake. He'll have his moments of coherent talking, and other times he'll be really cryptic or incoherent.**

**5: Well, in order to light anything you'd need to light the match.**

**11: *a small smile creeps up on 11's face***

**10: 11, the following sentence is false. The preceding sentence is true. Are these sentences true or false?**

**11:*thinks for a moment* Paradox, it's a paradox. If the first sentence is true than the second one is false, meaning that the first one is false. How many days could you last in solitary confinement? How would you do it? I tried it, it's not fun. *frowns***

**10: *looks between 4 and 5***

**Jack: Okay, that changed quickly**

**5: I'm... Not sure how to respond to that. Come on. Just wake up.**

**11: *jerks awake and hits 5 under his jaws causing a yelp from 11***

**4: About time.**

**5: *rubs jaw* You okay?**

**11: *tries to once again feel the bump on the back of his head***

**10: *grabs 11's hand to stop him* Let's just wait on that, yeah?**

**5: Wouldn't want you to pass out. Again.**

**11: *confused* Again? What are you talking about? When did I pass out?**

**4: You've been out for a while. Yet somehow remained somewhat coherent.**

**11: Impossible! Wait no, it's totally possible, what am I talking about?**

**4: Good question. *gets up and goes to actually leave this time***

**5: *to 11* You're still lying on me. **

**11:*realizes it and tries to get up quickly***

**10: *stops 11 from getting up too fast* We're not going to have a relapse of what happened the last time you tried getting up. *helps 11 get up slowly***

**11: *leans a bit on 10***

**5: Okay, fine then. *trying not to look jealous***

**10: 5, are you jealous?**

**5: No! I have no idea what you're talking about!**

**Jack: *chimes in* No, I think you are *gets a smirk on his face***

**5: *puts head down and says nothing***

**11:*blushes***

**10:*sees this and giggles* 11's blushing**

**5: You shut your mouth, 10!**

**4: *giggling with 10***

**11:*cheeks turn a deeper shade of red and tries to hide his face***

**5: *squeaks and turns around* I think I'll be leaving now.**

**4: *bites scarf to try to silence himself***

**11: *goes and sits down facing a corner to hide his face***

**10: We can still see you, 11**

**5: *turns back around, now by his TARDIS* Maybe you should leave as well, 11.**

**11: *says nothing, going by the logic of "If I can't see you, you can't see me, and therefore I do not hear you either"***

**5: *thinks about going over to tap him but doesn't* **

**4: I can see you, 5. Contemplating something.**

**Jack: He's trying to make a point**

**10: He can try all he wants, but everyone here knows that 5 is protective over 11**

**5: *annoyed tone* Protective? How so?**

**4: Do we really need to explain this to you?**

**10: I still have the tape I recorded...**

**11: What tape?!**

**5: Don't. You. Dare.**

**10: You wanted evidence of you being protective of 11...**

**11: What tape?! What are you talking about?!**

**Jack: *to 10* What are you talking about?**

**4: If 11 keeps asking we'll have to show him. *grins***

**5: Nononono. Don't.**

**10: Why not? He has a right to know**

**Jack: Can I see this tape by chance?**

**4: Most likely.**

**5: Is my opinion not important right now?**

**Jack: From the story you told me, 11 didn't really have a say in the matter of you hugging him the first time**

**11:*hides face again***

**5: *silent* Maybe you should talk to 4 about that. Do you remember any of this, 11?**

**11:*still hiding his face, but nods his head***

**4: Come, Jack, have a seat. **

**5: *thinking* Just stay by the TARDIS. Don't do anything else to fuel this.**

**Jack: *Goes and stands by 10 and 4 to see the video* How did you manage to tie 11 up in your scarf single-handedly?**

**4: Skill. And 11 was probably a little run down.**

**5: Didn't look it...**

**10:*to 5* He must have been if 4 could have managed to tie 11 up by himself**

**Jack:*to 10* You guys seemed to have more difficulty holding him down than 4 did when he tied him up**

**4: I'm allowed to do things the others can't. Rules of the writers.**

**5: Don't break the fourth wall.**

**11:*trying to make himself disappear***

**5: *trying to force himself to leave but doesn't want to leave 11 alone***

**10:*sees this and that stupid smile makes a comeback* Contemplating something 5?**

**5: No... *let's play stupid* What could I possibly be contemplating?**

**10: Oh, I don't know maybe whether or not to leave 11 alone? 4, what to do you think 5 could be contemplating?**

**4: Hm? Oh, definitely something along those lines. If not that who knows what else it could be, or if we really wanted to know.**

**Jack: *surprised* Well, I must say that you impress me Doc, never took you for thinking with your mind in the gutter**

**5: Never underestimate the hyper one...**

**10: I thought 11 was the hyper one *looks over at 11* Maybe someone should talk to him, he's been awfully quiet don't you think?**

**5: I think they're pretty even. And maybe you should 10.**

**10: *smirking* Oh, no, I wouldn't know where to begin... You on the other hand might have better luck then me.**

**5: ...You don't know that. He probably doesn't want anything to do with me anyway.**

**Jack: He seemed rather content with sleeping on you the first time around...**

**11: Shut up! *tries making himself smaller***

**5: I'm pretty sure he was... Out if commission at that point. Couldn't make his own decision.**

**10: Sure he was...**

**11: *trying to hide the blush that's returning on his face***

**5: *silent and looking at 11***

**4: Having difficulties?**

**11:*hides his head under his arms trying in vain to hide from the others***

**5: Okay fine! But only because he looks like he needs it. *walks over to 11***

**11:*senses someone walking up to him, but doesn't bother turning around because he's going by the logic of "If I can't see you, you can't see me"***

**5: *stands by 11 for a bit before tapping his shoulder***

**11: *wasn't expecting it and ends up jumping a bit before turning around and seeing 5, visibly relaxes***

**5: *jumps when 11 jumps then relaxes* Are you okay? You've been hiding in a corner for a while now.**

**11: *still sitting down with his knees up to his chest and sounding a bit embarrassed* Sorry**

**5: Oh no, it's fine. I was just curious.**

**11: Yeah, I'm fine...**

**10: Liar**

**5: *glares at 10... And 4, because why not?* I'm pretty sure we can both hear you.**

**10: That's the point**

**4: Yes, where's the fun in not being heard.**

**Jack: *thinking to himself* Where are they going with this?**

**5: Don't say anything you'd regret.**

**10: Like what?**

**5: Why would I give you examples?**

**11: *has an idea about what's going on and doesn't like where it's heading so he tries making himself small again***

**5: *notices and tries to coax him back out***

**Jack:*to 4 and 10* Why? Why do you do this?**

**4: The question is not why, but why not?**

**5: Just stop now. This will only go bad.**

**10: How much worse could it possibly get?**

**5 and 4: Never say that. **

**5: It can ALWAYS get worse.**

**10: Do you really think anything worse is going to happen?**

**11:*managed to fully push himself into the corner trying to melt into the wall***

**Jack: *to 10* Now, look what you've done**

**5: *tries to get 11 away from the corner***

**4: Something feels horribly wrong.**

**Jack:*turns around and sees two versions of the Master* 10, you know how you said nothing else could go wrong?**

**10: Yeah, why?**

**Jack: Look for yourself**

**10: What? *turns around* Oh.**

**4: Oh God why?**

**5: *not sure what to do at this point***

**4th Master: *looking between the five men in the room and then at 4* Doctor**

**4: ... Hi.**

**Jack: *looks at 4* You know this guy?**

**5: *inches in front of 11***

**4: Unfortunately.**

**Jack: Who is he?**

**10: The Master**

**4: Such an annoying name...**

**10: I know right, out of everything in the world to pick and he chooses the Master**

**5: Have you ever met the Master, Jack?**

**Jack: Only him *points to the 6th Master***

**4: At least it sounds better than the President.**

**5: Ah, I haven't seen him.**

**10: You'll be happy that you didn't**

**5: Already am.**

**4th Master: *sees 5 is actually standing in front of someone* Who are you hiding, Doctor?**

**5: *quick answer* No one in particular.**

**4th Master: One of your companions?**

**5: Yes. Yes, it's a companion. **

**4: ... *brings scarf up around face***

**6th Master: *to 10* I never pegged your 5th regeneration as a liar Doctor**

**10: Well... Rule #1.**

**6th Master:*to 5* That's not one of your companions, Doctor**

**5: Only as far as you know.**

**4th Master: *to 5* Then who was stupid enough to follow you this time?**

**5: *silent trying to think of a name* **

**4: *from behind scarf* Steve. Steve Jones**

**10: *rolls eyes* Nailed it, 4.**

**4th Master: You expect me to believe that his name is Steve Jones?**

**6th Master: And how would you know what his companions name is?**

**4: Well... You've done stupider things.**

**Jack: *stands by 5***

**5: *to Jack* What are you doing?**

**Jack: *to 5 quietly* Look, at the moment we have no idea what sort of mind frame 11 is in. The last thing we need is for those two to get their hands on him**

**5: Fair point.**

**6th Master: *evil grin* This companion must be fairly important if you're willing to use yourselves as shield**

**4: *takes a few steps back, continuing to hide behind scarf***

**10: *under his breath* You have no idea...**

**4****th**** Master: So what makes this one unique? Seeing into the future?**

**4: *comes out from behind scarf and says to 10* Has that been done yet?**

**10: *to 4* Spoilers**

**6th Master: Or maybe Jack's boy toy?**

**4th Master: Or maybe it's another attractive ditzy girl?**

**11: *starts shaking in fear***

**5: *grinds teeth***

**4: *watching from a distance***

**4th Master: *sees this and grins* That's what it is isn't it?**

**4: *in the distance* I don't think you know what you're getting into!**

**4th Master: Don't I? *laughs* Trying to scare me into backing down are we?**

**10: *to 4th Master* Trust us this once**

**6th Master: What happened to Rule #1 Doctor?**

**4: Or not. I'd actually like to see what happens! *leans against his TARDIS***

**10: Don't turn this around.**

**Jack: If you can't trust the Docs, then trust me. You don't know what you're getting into**

**4: At this point I'm not sure whose side I'm on...**

**5: *staring annoyed at the Masters***

**4th Master: *looks at 5 and laughs* Always so determined to protect the Damsels in Distress aren't you Doctor?**

**4: *chuckling but trying not to* They're never going to survive this.**

**Jack: *shaking his head* No, no they won't**

**10: *starts to back up to his TARDIS***

**6th Master: *sees 11* Well, Doctor, I must say. I never thought that you're Damsel in Distress would be a small lanky man. **

**4th Master: *sees 11's face and says to 6th Master* Look at his face and you'll see**

**4th and 6th Master: *Walk up to 5 and Jack, manage to shove them out of the way and are now standing in front of 11***

**11: *whimpers in fear***

**4th Master: *crouches down in front of 11* You're a Timelord. *Feels 11's hearts* Well someone's excited today *laughs darkly***

**5: *taps 4th Master on the shoulder***

**4: Oh damn.**

**4th Master: *turns around***

**5: *pulls him up and punches him in the jaw***

**6th Master: *was currently knocked on the ground thanks to 5, but go up and was about to tackle 5***

**Jack: *sees this about to happen* Oh, Hell no! *Tackles 6th Master and proceeds to punch him in the face and then says to 10* Stay by him Doc! *obviously meaning 11***

**5: *starts kicking 4th Masters stomach* My turn to put YOU through hell!**

**4th Master: *grunting in pain with each kick, but taunts 5* You kick like a little girl!**

**10:*guarding 11***

**11:*holding on to 10 like he's a lifeline***

**5: Oh really?! I could change my tactic if you really want! *stomps on his stomach***

**4th Master: *doesn't want to give 5 the satisfaction that he's hurting him* Stomp like one to!**

**Jack:*slams the 6th Master into the wall and proceeds to bash his head into it***

**5: *picks up Master* I'll probably regret this. *headbutts***

**4th Master: AH! You Blastended Skank!**

**4: POUNCE! *does exactly that while 5 recovers from his mistake***

**6th Master: *able to counter Jack's attack and punches Jack continuously***

**10: *grabs 6th Master from behind and drags him down***

**6th Master: *elbows 10 in the face knocking him down and makes his way to 11***

**11:*sees 6th Master coming and tackles him to the ground and bites him***

**6th Master: AHHHH! HE'S BITING ME!**

**5: *sees this and is amused and shocked at the same time***

**4: *to distracted with the 4th Master to care***

**4th Master: *wrestling with 4* What do you mean "He's biting you"?!**

**6th Master: WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS?! GET THIS LUNATIC OFF ME!**

**4th Master: Busy at the moment!**

**5: *tackles 11 off of 6th Master* **

**4: Just. Cooperate! *trying to pin Master***

**11:*trying to attack 6th Master again***

**4th Master: I'm not cooperating with you! *refusing defeat***

**6th Master: *to 10* Will you control your little psychopath?!**

**10: ... Nah.**

**Jack: *to 6th Master* Besides, I think 5's got it under control... maybe**

**6th Master: MAYBE?! You're going on a maybe?!**

**Jack: I could just tell you no...**

**4th Master: Get off me!**

**4: Submit! *pauses* That sounded better in my head.**

**4th Master: You think?**

**4: You shut your mouth! *gags him with scarf***

**11:*struggling against 5 to attack 6th Master***

**5: Look as much as I hate him too we can't maul him!**

**11: Why not?!**

**5: Because we are not animals! In fact, we should probably go back to what we do best...**

**10: Says the man who just headbutted the Master**

**Jack: *to 10* In fairness to 5, 11 did bite him**

**10: Yes, but 5 also kicked him a few times**

**4: Now is not the time for a debate!**

**10: Then what do you propose we do?**

**Jack: Well, I think the first thing we should do is separate 11 from the Masters or we'll have to put him down. *joking* You did remember to have your rabies shots right?**

**4: Not the time!**

**5: Or you know... *still holding back 11* Run!**

**Narrator: With the help of Jack, 5 was able to drag 11 out of the room with 4 and 10 following in suit**

**4: *uses 4th Master as springboard and makes a dash for his TARDIS* SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME!**

**10: *gets in his TARDIS* ALLONS-Y!**

**5: *dragging 11* Come on you and I both know this is a better way out!**

**Jack:*helping 5 drag 11* Don't you think we should clean his teeth first? I don't think anyone's going to have a good impression of him when he's looking like this**

**5: Does it look like we have time for that?! If it worries you, you should go with him!**

**11: Oh, no.**

**Jack: *to 11* Sorry Doc, looks like you don't have a say in the matter *drags 11 into his TARDIS and says to 5* See you next time?**

**5: Absolutely. *thinks for a minute* If you do anything regrettable... *mimics choking and ducks into TARDIS***

**Jack: *smiles and closes and locks TARDIS's doors* Alright Doc, lets get that blood out of your mouth. **

**11:*knowing resistance was futile* Fine**

**Jack:*leads 11 to the bathroom and has 11 clean his teeth***

**Narrator: The End**


End file.
